By Don Jones,Staff Writer
The Worst Of 2017
2018 is here and 2017 now fades into our memory. Thus, it is time to turn back the clock and look at the worst of the year just passed. There were plenty of contenders, but I have narrowed my list to ten only, the 10 worst things of 2017.
FAKE NEWS: For Republicans, everything except Fox News is fake news. For Democrats, MSNBC is the gospel and Fox is fake. If you’re in the middle, you take everything with a grain of salt as you see everyone and all national media with an agenda. You can basically put them all in a sack, shake it up and pour it out and you’re a nice necktie and a proper manicure away from The National Enquirer. Where have you gone Walter Cronkite?
WORST PREDICTION: Political columnist Tony Schwartz boldly predicted, “Donald Trump will resign by year end.” He didn’t resign, he hasn’t been arrested nor was he impeached. He is the President of the United States, get over it. As we Tennessee Vol fans have learned to say, “There is always next year.”
SNOWFLAKES: Not to be confused with wintry precipitation, it was a word first used by the right to describe those on the left who they felt were overly sensitive. Now, as so often happens, its overuse has resulted in folks using the term to describe anyone who disagrees with them about anything. Stop already! We get it. It’s now passe.
MOVIE REMAKES: Hollywood apparently spends so much time playing political activists and snubbing their collective noses at the ticket buying populace that they have run out of any original ideas. For every ultra successful remake of Star Wars, they toss out remake drivel such as Baywatch: The Movie, Flatliners and another stale edition of Pirates of the Caribbean. Please, please stop pontificating and try making decent movies. Another Saw, Friday the 13th or Planet of the Apes flick is not the answer.
HOLLYWOOD SCANDALS: Then again, this may play into the reasoning that bad movies are the norm in Hollywood. The self righteous blowhards of tinseltown who spent the last 25 years espousing their feel good piety to middle America has blown up as the bastion of pure hypocrisy. Studio chiefs, directors, actors, producers and on and on have been exposed as sexual predators and deviates. My question is, does this really surprise anyone?
THE CLEVELAND BROWNS: Jimmy Haslam of Knoxville owns the Cleveland Browns. He has not had a good year. He was involved in the botched search for a new head coach for the Tennessee Volunteers and was rebuffed by the common fan. Red faced, he eased back to Cleveland and watched his laughing stock NFL team lose every game and then unbelievably give a vote of confidence to his head coach who is 1-31 in two seasons. Something tells me he was very fortunate to inherit his massive fortune.
THE MALE ROMPER: Seriously? Who could have really thought this was a good idea. I truly can’t speak for every male adult but I would feel strange with a wardrobe of Buster Brown clothing. The male romper plus the man bun equals unmitigated disaster.
FIDGET SPINNERS: Every year brings a new fad. Last year it was Pokemon Go. Fads range from swallowing goldfish to the Macarena. This year’s worst fad was fidget spinners, a device you fidget with by making it spin. This summer they were everywhere and were selling for as much as $15-20. How do we know they were a fad? They are still everywhere, and sell for about 99 cents. Gone and almost forgotten
HOTTER IS BETTER: This is something I find troubling. The human being trying to tolerate hotter and hotter peppers. Just why? Every year is the discovery of a newer, hotter pepper. First it was habaneros, then it was ghost peppers and the Carolina Reaper. Now we find out that the Dragon Great is even hotter! You can buy one Carolina Reaper Chip online for about $5-6. If you want to set your mouth on fire, have at it!
CIRCUS PEANUTS: The worst of 2017 includes this all time Hall of Fame Worst Of Winner. Why do they still exist and even more so, why were they ever invented? It isn’t a peanut and is an insult to all nuts, including a Brazil Nut. It’s orange, but tastes like fake banana gooey cardboard. I think it is made with marshmallows, but could just as easily be some unknown chemical. Bad with a capital B!
There you have it my friends. Another glance back at 2017 and the very worst of the year. We look forward to 2018 and the oddities, losers and fads of the coming year.