Tyrades! Do morning people deserve to live?

A 1986 Pantene commercial carried the tagline “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful.”

Similarly, I must ask my readers, “Don’t hate me because I’ve heard a rooster crow.”

I tend to get up at the crack of dawn, even though I eventually encounter a lot of grumpy people who wish they had the energy to SHOW dawn their…well, never mind.

Despite working the graveyard shift from age 23 to age 37, and despite an ongoing ability to burn the candle at both ends, I am basically one of those dreaded “morning people.”

To my credit, I am never “in your face” with cheerfulness and positivity; but I confess to...